rewrite the script please
give the people what they want and not the business
If the Swiftie’s Instagram stories have not told you yet; Super Bowl LVIII (58) will feature the KC Chiefs vs SF 49ers. The NFL script might be real as this wreaks of scripted to get Taylor fans watching and the tech-money advertising. There’s no way the league wanted either Detroit or Baltimore in there. You could tell me they micro-chipped Campbell to go for every fourth down and I’d believe you at this point. Reminder… that the last time this was the SB matchup that Kobe died a week or so before and a month later COVID happened.
This year we get “will Taylor be there?”, ads about Gaza/Israel, Antisemitism, and last and certainly least on the list something about the presidential election which just so happens to land on my 27th birthday this year. Maybe we will have WWIII happen after & we’ll get to practice dodging the draft as a reward for being good sheep!!!
Any who, this Super Bowl is not what the real NFL fans wanted and if it is actually scripted they done fucked up. Reason being is that SF fans are football ignorant and just living “we are the best coast so go team” mentality; prime example is I bet they cannot name the QB they drafted with the #3 OVERALL pick (who got traded) before Brock Purdy came and “game managed” saving their franchise without googling it. If anyone I know from SF is reading this… sorry not sorry. Additionally, we have already seen this story before and unless Brock is the new Eli Manning then I see Pat Mahomes slicing, dicing, and not having receivers drop beautifully placed balls like the Lions did to one Mr. Jared Goff. I am sorry Jared, you actually did nothing wrong and the whole city of Detroit should tell you this everyday!
The Chiefs are just the bane to my existence. Honestly, I feel bad for Mahomes at this point cause he stuck with his day one and I am sensing that is gonna have a Tim Duncan-esque divorce (google if you want to be sad). His brother is also the WOAT and there’s just no saving him, but his dad seems pretty cool. Then, you got the Swift community propping up Kelce as though he’s the second coming when in reality he isn’t even better than the former Pats TE convicted of murder… seriously go look at those highlights and you’ll realize he is actually just a poor man’s version of that. Chiefs defense looks good but they just don’t have the weapons offensively to overpower.
Since Chase Young seemed to figure out run defense when Dan Campbell was playing a conservative offense those first few drives of the second half I cannot see Isaiah Pacheco exploding like he does. Actually, I see him fumbling and CEH coming in at some point the same way Gibbs fumbled then Montgomery took the rest of the snaps.
Honestly, rooting for a tie. That would be the cherry on top, nobody actually wins but everyone else does. Then, instead of Goodell we have Steve Carrell come out in a full suit and say “win, win, win” as though it’s the conflict resolution episode of the Office.
The NFL product was terrible this year. Malcolm Gladwell could be right and we are about to witness football experience the same death as baseball. Golden era appears to be over and unless they have another pop star relationship they can use to bolster interest this is going to be slow and painful considering the drop in talent.
Final score prediction: 24-21 Chiefs win after scoring 24 unanswered in the second half with the zebra’s help and we get “was 24-0 comeback better than 28-3?” for the next six months.
P.S. (hedging here): IF SF pulls this off… well, they will care for thirty seconds and then go back to their regularly scheduled materialistic bay lives so who cares.