Modern Dating PT. IV
Observations with some Insight
Good morning, good afternoon, good evening or good night depending on what time you decide to read my fourth installment in the modern dating series! This won’t be as satirical as previous posts as I will be aiming for more of an observational piece here.
First, the double standard of the person who is seeking to go on the date being the one to pay should remain, chivalry is not dead. I have yet to hear a fat lady sing in 2026 and the only pigs flying are the orange wig in office and his little FBI director/pawn of a human being. Hell might be freezing over though with the lack of pedophiles in jail from those files. That’s it with politics this is about dating folks!
Back to the topic, we need to modify how we go about first dates. Dinner should not be a first date. It’s tacky, too high of stakes and ultimately is a big audition for potentially nothing. There should be a universal shift to all first dates being lunch, coffee/tea, or just drinks (+ maybe apps) at a bar. After that, do whatever the fuck you want - not my circus & you are your own monkeys.
I went on a date back in August 2025 where we got a few drinks, talked for roughly 2-3 hours and then called it a night. Spent $30-50 and I felt good about whether or not there would be a second date but happy I did that rather than spend $100+ while debating which food won’t give her the “ick” for me to eat for dinner.
Update - there was no second date, but I hope she finishes the album she told me about because her music sounded really good!
Do not be afraid something totally random for a second or third date! I went on a second date in that mirage of a week that is between Christmas and NYE 2025 to see the Slutcracker in Somerville, MA. It was really funny and the show was exceptional overall! It may not be the date that makes you say I do but it will open you up to do more fun things once you meet that person. Also, don’t feel obliged to go all out find a local comedy show or something but make it an activity for you both to branch out!
Update - the romantic connection was not entirely there for us to continue but we both had a great time, as it was good to expand our horizons.
Also, people need to adjust their standards for dates. Similar to the cheesecake factory theory - nobody should consider themselves above going on certain types of dates. For example, if someone wanted to take you to a nice restaurant and you scoffed because their main attraction is pizza, odds are I am not going to even want to meet up with you anymore!
Next on the docket, ghosting has become way too common. We should normalize just telling people that “you’re nice but I don’t see this going where either of us want it to be” and moving on. It’s actually a lot easier of a pill to swallow. Myself included on that list of people who need to work on it. The most recent person I was ghosted by probably will not read this but that’s okay!
Even as our attention spans are being grated down to the millisecond we should work on telling people how we feel instead of leaving them in an ether-limbo-abyss of “I don’t know”. I am just as guilty as everyone else in this but wish that we as a society could begin changing, now with regard to anyone I stopped answering - I am sorry I guess I’m just not that into you?
Age gaps are still a touchy subject, but I can confidently say I would rather date someone healthily close to my age than someone who’s super young and has no idea what they’re doing in life. Not saying I am killing it at 28 and know my life through and through but I possess much more of a hold on it than I did in my younger years.
If I just yucked your yum there meaning you either you like much older partners or are too immature to date someone your age and go after recent college grads, you should look into therapy.
Someone is going to say the following in their head: “what’s the difference between 22 and 23?” and to some no difference, for me it’s like that one year out of college and just knowing you’re not in college anymore is helpful in the sense of relating to one another. The reverse age gap where the woman is older than the man is interesting; I cannot say I have found success in that but to those that have good for you! My dad just read that sentence and goes “you’re such an ass”, actually he definitely said “shut up Franq” as my parents are a reverse age gap.
Next up - people need to stop being so fucking strange. Talking to people while out has never been weirder. I once a had a normal conversation end with “follow me on Instagram” after I asked her for her number. I’ll fuck myself sideways instead thanks.
Following up on the people being weird - can we save the interrogation of red flags for the date? I do not need to text you my life story before I wait fifteen minutes for you to show up to the date! As I typed that, I realized it can help you realize that you don’t want to go on the date at all. So that might be a 50/50, play it by ear type beat. Just don’t text too much.
I am saying these and realizing I too have been hypocritical of this too so I guess the pot is calling the kettle black… which for me is one of the few times people will actually agree I am black. If you did not laugh there, call your therapist.
Dating remains an ever-changing world of trying to figure out how to be happy. As I open Instagram most weekends finding engagements, weddings, newborns I wonder how many of these will have not so happy endings. If someone at Kalshi reads this, let people bet on legal marriages and if they will get divorced! Actually, no that is depressing but still kind of funny.
Anyone not doing those things is usually on some trip abroad to “find themselves” or training for a half/full marathon. That is for this installment so until next time… may the odds be ever in your favor out there!
P.S. The prequel movie for the Hunger Games movies sucked yet it had so much potential to not suck! Watched it on a plane like several weekends ago and for some reason felt obliged to include it here because I know most of you do not follow me on Letterboxd.