Modern Dating pt III

What Your Dating App Says About You

Like Mulan once said let’s get down to business… to defeat the stigma around which dating apps people use and what it says about them.

Hinge

• old reliable, ubiquitous - the land of everyone but no one

• the Black Mirror dating simulation sums this one up pretty well

• lots of marriages, relationships, divorces, and bad dates come out of here

• also lots of “how was your weekend?” going nowhere conversations

• probably the most consistent get what you get from a dating app

Bumble

• personally have zero faith in this app

• never know when the likes run out

• women 9/10 will not message first which is what I believe this was originally designed to break but just followed the normal distribution

Tinder

• the Bon & Viv hard seltzer equivalent to dating apps

  • (the OG spiked seltzer for those who weren’t part of that era reading this)

• filled with bots and scammers

• truly searching for love in a hopeless place

Raya

• this is about as close to date prostitution / bag chasing as we can get

• socioeconomically saying “no broke boys no new friends”

• assume 80% of dudes on this app are like the PE guy on tiktok

• $25 a month to take girls on $250 dates and end up in loveless, sexless, power couple marriages with kids named Preston and Tarantino

• I don’t use this app cause I’m not that guy pal

Grindr

• gay

• know nothing about this app other than when republicans get together the servers on this app crash out harder than Donny Trump when someone brings up the Epstein list or how deep he is in Netanyahu’s pocket has to be (think TBag in Prison Break)

Duet / Hily

• never used these nor have I met someone who uses them

• TikTok / IG reels advertise this to me about every fifth video watched

• if you have used these comment your experience down below

Other

• I know nothing about other dating apps for anyone else in LGTBQIA+ and not going to comment on them but you can down below