Late Twenties High
an ineffable non-substance that provides ecstasy of some sort
Based on the title you probably think I am writing about hardcore drugs. Sorry to disappoint, the high I will be discussing makes you feel like you are on drugs and no… it’s not a runner’s high. I am not one of those assholes telling you how they got high by posting Strava and Apple Watch stats to my Instagram story.
This high is euphoric in ways I struggle to put into words, yet here I am trying to do so for you. So maybe I am no different than the Strava cunts. What I am referring to here is the act of unfollowing someone on social media. Someone you may have known for a brief moment, or even a long time/hometown friend. Life has drifted you apart and now you only see each other through the lens of social media. They might not even be a bad person, but you’re not in each other’s lives to the point where even a social media friendship seems irrelevant. You realize it is time to sever internet ties.
This is where the buildup begins, you see the final story that makes your internal monologue blurt out, “Do I need to see this stuff anymore?”. Next, you toggle over to their profile and begin looking over with graduation goggles (HIMYM reference), contemplating this person’s existence in your feed. It’s apparent though that it’s over (and no Jeff Buckley is not singing it’s never over in the background). I begin edging myself around the button, then once the trigger is pulled there is a .2 second wait until one of two things happen; you have unfollowed them and that’s it or you get the “you’ll have to request to follow them again” - and let me tell you those are the good ones. That extra second of pure ecstasy like “yeah I am done here” feels like nothing else.
No need to compare this high to other drugs because it exists in its own world. Try it sometime, it literally cannot hurt you. Just don’t get addicted or you will end up all alone, then you will have hurt yourself - so maybe social media itself is a drug after all? Maybe I’ll write my next substack comparing opioids to
Bonne chance mes amis!