Are Relationships Transactional?
Friendships, Long Term Relationships, Marriage... What's the Point?
“Who you marry is the single greatest investment choice of your life” - a wise parent.
What is love? Baby don’t hurt me, don’t hurt me, no more. Seriously, what is the point of all these interactions we have with each other as people? Maybe this is overly existential but this is meant to examine and question the nature of being human.
Are we supposed to date/fall in love to upgrade our social status in life? Are most of us subconsciously doing that whether we want to or not? Are friendships really supposed to be leveraged into networks or does it just naturally fall that way?
Let’s not pretend like there is some clear answer as none of us have 20:20 or 20:5 or whatever the best vision is at reading the room. I mean there are people (who I know pretty well) who won’t date other people unless they put them in a house worth millions or get them a car they want because they’re more in love with being materialistic than in love with being in love.
But then you ask, what if that is their love language and maybe I’m the illiterate one? Maybe love is just to each their own, a different strokes for different folks kind of thing. Again, I am merely posing questions that I do not know the answers but live with.
Love to me is kindred, kismet spirits working toward common goals, for each other’s individual and mutual happiness. That can be considered utterly a mundane, watered down version of love, but to me it’s the simplest form of what love should reflect.
But with age you begin to see a transactional nature to it all. Will this person sacrifice their goals for mine? Or would they live where I want to live and thrive rather than somewhere we both would rather live and maybe not thrive but live modestly? Will this person worship my religion over theirs and convert our bloodline? Will they hinder the passing on of my culture or enhance it?
Love is almost ineffable to understand. I don’t want to waste any more of your time asking questions and hope you begin thinking of your own answers. Bonne chance!
P.S.
Non-sequitur (kind of): if you are getting married and having kids I suggest not hyphenating your kids’ last name… is their wife/husband gonna hyphenate into that too? Pick one and make it easier on the kid.